well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
