it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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