He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
