I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
