I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
