32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
