I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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