my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
