How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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