So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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