Kiss
Puke
I checked into jail on foursquare
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
