Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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