Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
