Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just tell him i said nine months
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
