I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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