I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Randomize
