I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
