He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize