Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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