can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
