Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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