Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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