i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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