They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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