Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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