I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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