shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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