i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
