i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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