Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
