Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
