I have demons in me.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
