Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
