The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I fill condoms, not promises.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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