marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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