I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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