Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
