Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
