But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
