based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
