my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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