i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
