We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
