your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
