she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize