This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
