Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
