I think I am morally bankrupt
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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