She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
