now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
