At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize