who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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