it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
