But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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