I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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