Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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