What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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