Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
