I can text with my tongue
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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