She said her name was "party"
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
