He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize