He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
