For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
