PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I miss vodka workout Fridays
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize