I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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